§ I — ADMISSIONS
THE PREMISE
P. 01 / 03
— OFFICE OF THE REGISTRAR —
OPEN
ADMISSIONS.
OPEN TAB.
A four-year school. Six-year program. We exist for the long Saturday and the longer story. Tuition is paid in attendance. Now accepting the unaccepted.
STUDY HARD, DRINK HARDER.NO REFUNDS, NO REGRETS.CLASS IN SESSION.PRE-REQ: A RIDE HOME.ATTENDANCE IS GRADED ON A CURVE.NOW ACCEPTING THE UNACCEPTED.OFFICE HOURS: 9 PM — 2 AM.EST. ALWAYS.STUDY HARD, DRINK HARDER.NO REFUNDS, NO REGRETS.CLASS IN SESSION.PRE-REQ: A RIDE HOME.ATTENDANCE IS GRADED ON A CURVE.NOW ACCEPTING THE UNACCEPTED.OFFICE HOURS: 9 PM — 2 AM.EST. ALWAYS.
§ II — REGISTRATION
ENROLLMENT IS A LIST · LAYLO
P. 02 / 03
— DEAN'S LIST · NO COVER · OPEN ADMISSIONS —
BECOME
A DEGEN.
One signup. No regrets. We'll send the syllabus, the schedule, and the address for the afters. You'll know what's good before the textbook is even printed.
TUITION
PAID IN ATTENDANCE
THREE PILLARS.
ONE CUP.
We have rules. They are written in highlighter, but they exist. Read once, retain forever.
PILLAR 01
SHOW UP
Half the credit is for being there. The other half is for staying.
PILLAR 02
LOOK AFTER
No alumnus left in the Uber queue. We graduate together or not at all.
PILLAR 03
TELL IT RIGHT
The story is the diploma. Embellish responsibly.
§ III — CAMPUS ACTIVITIES
EXTRACURRICULAR FILINGS
P. 03 / 03
— OFFICE OF STUDENT LIFE —
SUBMIT YOUR
MOST AMBITIOUS
FCKERY.
Long Saturdays. Bad decisions, well executed. Tell us about the one you still talk about. The dean wants names, places, witnesses. Best entries get printed in the next catalog and read aloud at homecoming. No refunds, no regrets.
DEBA 101Introduction to Saying Yes3 CR
CUPS 212Vessel Studies — material history of holding the line3 CR
SLEP 240Sleep, Strategically — naps as competitive advantage3 CR
TALE 310Advanced Storytelling — we don't lie, we round up3 CR
CIVI 330Civics of the Group Chat — quorum, motions, read receipts3 CR
REPR 401Repair & Recovery — bagels, electrolytes, apology drafting3 CR
